It started with a sign.
Literally, a sign in Prospect Park that said "BIBS THIS WAY." And I followed it, past the green grass, past the families and the dog walkers and the people who had no idea what today meant to me. I walked through that entrance, picked up a small laminated number, and stood there holding it like it was something precious. Because it was.
I am running a Half Marathon on Saturday.
Thirteen point one miles. In Brooklyn. In May. At 48.
Two years ago, I could not sleep through the night. I was waking up at 3am, heart racing, drenched in sweat, completely exhausted by noon. I was gaining weight without changing anything. I was forgetting words mid-sentence. I was anxious in a way I had never been anxious before. I thought something was seriously wrong with me.
It was perimenopause. And nobody told me.
Once I understood what was happening in my body, I started making different choices. I moved more, because movement helps regulate estrogen. I prioritized sleep, obsessively. I tracked my symptoms so I could spot patterns and stop feeling like I was just randomly falling apart. I built peripal because I needed a place to do all of that in one spot, and because I knew I was not the only one who needed it.
I did not start running to prove something. I started running because my nervous system needed an outlet and a trail through Prospect Park turned out to be it. It grew slowly. A 5K. A 10K. And then, somewhere along the way, I signed up for a Half Marathon and told nobody until it was too late to back out.
That laminated bib has my number on it. It is mine. I earned it, not in spite of perimenopause, but alongside it, while learning to understand my body instead of fighting it.
Saturday I run. And I cannot wait.
If you are in the thick of perimenopause right now and your body feels unfamiliar, I want you to know: this is not your ceiling. Track how you feel. Learn your patterns. Give yourself grace. And when you're ready, pick something that scares you just enough.
And I am so grateful for all the lovely ladies from my running group who are joining me in this experience. Thank you, RBC Wave 4 Tortoises, for all the good talks, the laughter, the fun, the motivation, and for running through Prospect Park loop after loop through the whole damn cold New York City winter. We got this and we will rock it on Saturday!
I will see you at the finish line.